What Nurtures You? What Stresses You?

Hi friends, 

I’ve been thinking about this quote from Dr. Jaqueline Kerr, behavior change scientist, TEDx speaker, and the host of the Overcoming Working Mom Burnout podcast: “such a large part of burnout is losing confidence in your abilities." So many of my clients have shared this symptom of burnout with me. If you feel this way, I want to remind you that those feelings do not mean that you are failing or that you are a failure!

Burnout is so often out of our control due to unmanageable workloads, decreased autonomy, work environments that don't value personal time off, and even workplaces that refuse to modify sources of stress. Burnout symptoms can include:

• Feelings of disengagement

• Blunted emotions

• Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness

• Loss of motivation

The first step in dealing with burnout is realizing if you are truly in burnout or not. You need to give yourself the space to slow down and reflect on this. Read on for a reflection I often give my clients who are experiencing burnout when we first start working together.

What is nurturing for me? What is stressful for me?

Pause a few times each day and ask yourself the following questions. Take brief notes so that you can begin to notice patterns. Try this for two weeks to see what you begin to discover.

Who/what nurtured you? Who/what stressed you?

How did your reactions, thoughts, or interpretations about other people and events nurture or stress you?

Did you feel more comfortable/at home with stress or nurturance? Did you move toward stress or toward nurturance?

What are you learning in this exercise? What patterns do you observe? What new actions will you take from what you’re learning/observing?

If you notice more things that are causing you stress versus feeling nurtured, it might be time to work with a coach. And I just so happen to know a great burnout coach!