We can love others only as much as we love ourselves.

On Saturday I had the pleasure of marrying our dear friends. It was exciting to be immersed in that magical state. Beforehand, when we discussed their vows and the ceremony, they gave me a little liberty to add my thoughts where I saw spots that could use a bit more. Theirs were some of the easiest vows I've written because they were pretty clear on what they did and did not want. With just a few modifications the ceremony was uniquely and perfectly Them. 

When I was searching for a quote to include in the ceremony, I knew I wanted it to be about love. How to best describe the shared experience of love and our feelings around it. And then it hit me: the perfect real-life everyday example of what love really means came from a trusted source of constant support - Brené Brown. In her latest book Atlas of the Heart, she describes LOVE as this: 

"We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can be cultivated between two people only when it exists within each one of them – we can love others only as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can survive these injuries only if they're acknowledged, healed, and rare."

When and how often do you allow your most vulnerable and powerful self to be deeply seen and known? Because that's when you can be 100% yourself. When you love yourself first, you build that powerful connection and give authentic love in return.