Balancing Service with Self-Care
It’s so common to get caught up in the whirlwind of life, serving others, and often neglecting our own needs. This delicate balance between serving others and taking care of ourselves is a recurring theme I see during client intakes. Recently, a client's response to a seemingly simple question got me thinking.
One of the questions I ask during intake sessions is “What are your strengths as a human being?” Emphasizing that this question isn’t just about professional skills, but in everyday life. The goal is to help clients recognize and celebrate the innate qualities, virtues, and capabilities that make them unique. During this particular session, the client responded with an answer that was both humbling and inspiring. They described themselves as loyal, fun, and dedicated, saying, "Basically, I'm the best barback you could ever hire! You'll never run out of anything, and I'll keep the area clean and clear for you. I'll make your job easy and fun." It was a moment of self-awareness that painted them as the ultimate helper. But as I listened to their words, a broader realization struck me: "How we serve others and not ourselves!" It's a sentiment that often emerges during client intakes, and it speaks to the heart of the matter. Many of us are natural caregivers, always ready to lend a hand, but sometimes, we forget to extend that same kindness and care to ourselves.
Now, don't get me wrong. Helping others is a beautiful quality, and it's something I deeply resonate with, being a Type 2 on the Enneagram—often referred to as "The Helper." But there's an important caution and practice we must adopt in our lives: ensuring that our own needs are met. It's all too easy to become so engrossed in aiding others that we neglect our well-being. We may find ourselves constantly in the background, ensuring everyone else's needs are taken care of, while ours take a backseat. And here lies the challenge: How are YOUR needs being met? Can you ask for what you need? This isn't a call to abandon our natural tendencies to serve and support others. Instead, it's an invitation to strike a balance. It's about acknowledging that by taking care of ourselves and making sure our own needs are met, we become even more effective and compassionate helpers. Self-care isn't selfish—it's a vital component of our overall well-being. Just as a barback can make a bartender's job easier by ensuring everything is in order, we, too, can make the world a better place by first taking care of ourselves, so, as you reflect on your strengths as a human being, consider not only how you serve others but also how you can serve yourself. It's a harmonious interplay that leads to a fuller, more balanced life. And remember, your voice matters too. If you need something, don't hesitate to ask for it. It's a practice that not only benefits you but also those you help along the way. I would love to hear about your experiences with finding this balance between service to others and self-care.
I would love to hear about your experiences with finding this balance between service to others and self-care. Please share your thoughts and insights in the comments below.