Why Your Coach Can't Do the Work for You

While organizing my home office recently, I stumbled upon some illuminating notes from a session with my mentor coach. These notes captured a pivotal moment in my coaching journey, where I grappled with a common challenge: a client who loved our sessions but wasn't fully engaging with the practices I'd suggested. I remember sharing my frustration with my mentor. My client was eager for quicker results, yet wasn't fully committing to the work. I found myself slipping into advice-giving mode, trying to "convince" her to embrace the practices. In my mind, I caught myself thinking, "I'm the expert here, why aren't you listening to me?"

My coach gave me some of the best advice ever that I still refer to, even today! She acknowledged my drift into advice-giving and shared a timeless piece of wisdom: you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Then, she offered an insight I still treasure today: "It's all about your quality of presence. You're not responsible for getting your client to a specific destination by the end of your agreement. Your role is to facilitate a development process. Everyone grows at their own pace. When you internalize this, you can relax and be fully present. Ironically, that's when you're most likely to have a deeply developmental conversation with your client." 

This experience reinforced a fundamental truth: while coaches and mentors can guide us, the real work of personal growth lies within ourselves. Yes, we can have coaches guide us. Yes, we can have mentors support us. But WE as individuals must take on the actual work of development.

So, I invite you to reflect: Where are you on your personal growth path? Are you ready to embrace the challenging yet rewarding work of self-development, with the supportive guidance of a coach?

I currently have a few openings for new clients. If you or someone you know is curious about exploring coaching, I'd be delighted to schedule a complimentary hour-long exploratory conversation to discuss if coaching aligns with your goals.

Remember, as Jiddu Krishnamurti wisely said, "The more you know yourself, the more clarity there is. Self-knowledge has no end."